It’s mid December and we’re in the midst of the Christmas shopping season. Al and I are out and about running some weekly errands. Hubby see’s a Best Buy and recommends we step in to check out some DVD’s. Since we don’t have satellite TV, we rely on our RV antenna for television reception. Our location determines how many channels are available.
Ridgway State Park in Colorado and Moab, Utah, presented zero reception, as in nada, zilch. We were excited when boondocking in Quartzsite, Arizona, when the scanner seemed to pick up 5 channels. That is until we realized only one was in English. No hablo español. So it’s at these times we resort to our DVD collection.Thus, we head into the store in search of some new DVD’s to add to our library and that’s when Al sees her; just down the aisle to the left of the DVD’s. He’s drawn to her sleek hard body. He finds her irresistible. Ever so cautiously he approaches her. He finds his hand slowly gliding down her side. She doesn’t respond.
He lovingly touches a button off to the left and that’s when she responds. Al’s face glows in delight as she lights up and verbally responds to his touch. He freely fondles her with both hands and that’s when she appears to get skittish. He slows his touch, she responds. The two are totally engrossed with one another.
I stand off to the side with my arms crossed. Personally, I don’t know what he sees in her. And that voice…..monotone and annoying, but Al is enthralled. He barely notices me standing there. I wonder if I need to get a bucket of cold water to pry the two apart. Finally, the trance is broken. Al pulls himself away as we walk to the next aisle, but not without a final glance her way.
We pick up the final season of “Big Love” to add to our collection, but before heading to the check out aisle, we walk back down HER aisle. It is the Christmas season after all. Al’s a good husband and puts up with my shenanigans. Tis the season to give. I turn to Al and say, “Hon, if you want her, you can have her”. He responds wide eyed, “Seriously, you’re ok with this”? “Yes, let’s take her home. Mind you, I’m not sure I trust her, but I’ll have an open mind”. Meet Hildi….
Garmin nüvi 52LM 5-Inch Portable Vehicle GPS with Lifetime Maps (US)
On that note, we brought Hildi home and welcomed her to the family. Now Al has two wives telling him how to drive. Isn’t he lucky? Hildi sits between Al and me in the front seat. She remained quiet for most of our journey from Phoenix to Canyon Lake, but now we were in unfamiliar territory and needed to find the Rio Raft RV Park in New Braunfels, Texas.
I fumble with my maps in an attempt to get my bearings. Al is fondly stroking Hildi and she responds in that monotone voice of hers. It’s a battle of the wenches and clearly Hildi won this one. Feeling somewhat dejected, I accept that Hildi did do a great job of getting us to the Rio Raft RV Park.
It’s New Year’s Eve. Al and I decide to head toward Rockport, Texas. I bring out the map and we review the route I’d like to take. There are two possible routes to get to our destination. Al thinks I’ve picked the slightly longer route. I disagree. We hop in the truck and Al turns Hildi on, which is easy to do, but boy don’t touch her wrong – she’s a temperamental little gal. Thankfully she has this cute little return arrow that seems to calm her down.
She tells Al when and where to turn and even beeps when we approach a school zone. Al’s beginning to wonder what he’s gotten himself into and responds, “Great, now I have two women telling me how to drive and when to slow down”. I smile.
As we approach Interstate 35 in south Texas, Hildi tells Al to make a right. I tell Al to make a right. It looks to be more of a frontage road than an on ramp and thus he does NOT make a right. The sister wives recalculate. Hubby wants to turn around. His two wives tell him to go straight and make the next right. He’s out voted and thus listens to the two women. The quick I-35 jog was circumvented and we find ourselves on the correct road in short order.
It’s at this point I inform Al to let Hildi determine the route. I promise not to override her but I am keeping a close eye on where she takes us. I still don’t trust her. Al’s happy his two wives won’t be fighting. He still remembers earlier in the day when I disagreed with Hildi. Poor Al was torn between which wife to listen to. It became clear when I asked him, “Who’s the better kisser?” I thought so…..I’ll always be wife number one.
Hildi takes us south through the town of Goliad; the very route I had mapped out. She and I are in agreement and Al is once again out voted and overruled. He’s not complaining though. He gets to focus on the driving and not worry about directions. Traffic was very light. The scenery reminded us of our childhood home state of Illinois; farmland with rich black soil and cattle roaming on fenced private land.
And then there are the vaguely familiar gray overcast skies, not the azure blue skies we have become more recently accustomed to in the desert southwest.
After a laughter filled, enjoyable three hour drive, we arrive at our destination near Goose Island State Park in Rockport, Texas. I’m sure the tale of two wives shall continue…..
For some unique entertainment, check out Big Love and you’ll understand why I refer to Hildi as my sister wife.
Big Love: The Complete Series