It was mid-December when we were in the midst of the Christmas shopping season. Al and I were out and about running some weekly errands when Al sees a Best Buy and recommends we step in to check out some DVDs. Since we don’t have satellite TV, we rely on our RV antenna for television reception. Our location dictates how many over the air channels we’re able to pull in. With a limited WiFi plan, streaming isn’t an option for us.
Ridgway State Park in Colorado and Moab, Utah, presented zero reception, as in nada, zilch, none. We were excited while boondocking in Quartzsite, Arizona, when the scanner seemed to pick up 5 channels. That is until we realized only one channel was in English. No hablo español. So it’s at these times we resort to our DVD collection.
So, we head into the Best Buy store in search of some new DVDs to add to our library and that’s when Al sees her; just down the aisle to the left of the DVDs. He’s drawn to her sleek hard body. He finds her irresistible. Ever so cautiously he approaches her. He finds his hand slowly gliding down her side. She doesn’t respond.
He lovingly touches a button off to the left and that’s when she responds. Al’s face glows in delight as she lights up and verbally responds to his touch. He freely fondles her with both hands and that’s when she appears to get skittish. He slows his touch, she responds. The two are totally engrossed with one another.
I stand off to the side with my arms crossed. Personally, I don’t know what he sees in her. And that voice …. monotone and annoying, but Al is enthralled. He barely notices me standing there. I wonder if I need to get a bucket of cold water to pry the two apart. Finally, the trance is broken. Al pulls himself away as we walk to the next aisle, but not without a final glance her way.
We pick up the final season of “Big Love” to add to our DVD collection, but before heading to the check out aisle, we walk back down HER aisle. It is the Christmas season after all. Al’s a good husband and puts up with my shenanigans. Tis the season to give. I turn to Al and say, “Hon, if you want her, you can have her”. He responds wide-eyed, “Seriously, you’re ok with this”? “Yes, let’s take her home. Mind you, I’m not sure I trust her, but I’ll have an open mind”. Meet Hildi, our Garmin GPS. (This post contains affiliate links)
On that note, we brought Hildi home and welcomed her to the family. Now, Al has two wives telling him how to drive. Isn’t he lucky? Hildi sits between Al and me in the front seat. She remained quiet for most of our journey from Phoenix, Arizona to Canyon Lake near San Antonio, Texas.
With no prior reservation made, we were unable to snag a campsite at Canyon Lake. Fortunately, the camp hosts were able to recommend a private RV park about 20 minutes away. Now we were driving in unfamiliar territory as we needed to find the Rio Raft RV Park in New Braunfels, Texas.
I fumbled with my maps in an attempt to get my bearings. Al is fondly stroking Hildi and she responds in that monotone voice of hers. It’s a battle of the wenches and clearly, Hildi won this first round. Feeling somewhat dejected, I accepted the fact that Hildi did do a great job of getting us to the Rio Raft RV Park.
A few days later, it was time for us to head to Rockport, Texas. We hopped in the truck and Al turns Hildi on, which is easy to do, but she’s a touchy temperamental little gal. Thankfully she has this cute little return arrow that seems to calm her down. I pull out my atlas and review the route I’d like to take. There are two possible routes to get to our destination. Al thinks I’ve picked the slightly longer route while Hildi has picked the shorter. I disagree. Poor Al was torn between which wife to listen to. It became clear when I asked him, “Who’s the better kisser?” I thought so … I’ll always be wife number one. I win this round!
We’re cruising down the road. Hildi tells Al when and where to turn and even beeps when we approach a school zone, as a reminder to slow down. Al’s beginning to wonder what he has gotten himself into and responds, “Great, now I have two women telling me how to drive”. I smile and think, “Hmm, maybe she and I will get along after all”.
As we approached Interstate 35 in south Texas, Hildi tells Al to make a right. I tell Al to make a right. It looks to be more of a frontage road than an on-ramp, so Al does NOT make a right. The sister wives recalculate. Al wants to turn around, but his two wives tell him to go straight and make the next right. He’s outvoted and therefore listens to the two women. The quick I-35 jog was circumvented and we found ourselves on the correct road in short order.
It was at this point that I informed Al to let Hildi determine the rest of the route and promised not to override her, but I was keeping a close eye on where she was taking us. I still didn’t trust her. Al’s happy his two wives wouldn’t be fighting. He still remembers earlier in the day when I disagreed with Hildi and asked the question, “Who’s the better kisser?” 🤣
Hildi takes us south through the town of Goliad; the very route I had mapped out. She and I are in agreement and Al is once again outvoted and overruled. He’s not complaining though. He gets to focus on driving and not worry about directions. Traffic was very light. The scenery reminded us of our childhood home state of Illinois; farmland with rich black soil and cattle roaming on fenced private land.
And then there are the vaguely familiar gray overcast skies, not the azure blue skies we’ve become accustomed to in the desert southwest.
After a laughter-filled, enjoyable three-hour drive, we arrived at our destination; Goose Island State Park in Rockport, Texas. I’m sure the tale of two wives shall continue…..
For some unique entertainment, check out this 2006 HBO series and you’ll understand why I refer to Hildi as my sister wife.
Big Love: The Complete Series